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moving along

Drive-by to update. Things are going as well as can be expected. I ran around like a nut the rest of the week after mom passed, and on into last week, cleaning her room out, hanging with her care staff. I took them donuts and a card, and let them know how much the family appreciated their love and care for mom. They even wanted to see the photos I took at the funeral home, and those seemed to ease their hearts to see her peaceful and resting (with Spooky—they all knew how muc

The Call

Wow. I just read the last update I posted. Last Saturday, wasn’t it? It feels like a year ago or more. I have to sit down and really think, send my brain back in a time machine, to last weekend, to before everything rocked and changed one last time. Monday morning, I woke up deeply and unaccountably depressed. There was literally no reason for it, other than a weird and unpleasant dream about being served with a legal judgement for $54,700 (really, brain? You have to be that

looking back, looking ahead

Last night made two years since the first time mom didn’t recognize me. Roughly, anyway. I don’t remember the exact date, but it was Saturday night before Father’s Day. If somebody had told me a few minutes before that event what the next couple of years would be like…then what? I couldn’t really have done anything differently. It’s not like I have numerous siblings to share the load. It’s not like I could have run out the door and not looked back. Maybe at least I could have

sneak peek--A Song for the Seacrossing

Quick blog post to keep my promise and share a bit of the book I'm working on! This is from the first chapter. To set-up: Kirby is an undercover cop who survived a car bombing and has just gone back to work beside his partner Gabe. They are part of a team on a drug bust and are searching a dealer's warehouse. That's where this sequence picks up. Kirby gave the cramped office another once-over, noting a second door closed and half hidden by stacks of office supplies. A closet

wow, another blog post

Just a quick drive-by to say hello and share a couple of things! Did you watch the royal wedding last weekend? Yes, I did. Please, nobody start with me about how Bad Things A, B, C, & D are still going on and how dare people allow themselves to be brainwashed into spending several hours with fluff on the TV. (Although, if you are reading my blog, I’m pretty sure you aren’t the kind of person who would say that anyway.) I know bad things are going on. I also know what I’ve bee

keep on keeping on

I talked with the psych unit’s social worker last Thursday. She said Place K had sent a nurse out to evaluate mom, and they were deciding whether she could come back to memory care, or needed to go to their rehab floor for a while first. In rehab, she would get pretty intensive physical therapy, which would be great for building her strength back up and getting her more able to do things for herself. That is, of course, assuming she wants to. Mentally, psych says she is more

on a swing

I’m still having these weird mood swings. Friday I got to go to the local flea market for the first time in several years…and spend all the time I wanted (5 hours, before my feet gave out and I got concerned about fighting work traffic so headed home). Now granted, I intended to spend very little, so that’s not quite as much fun as it could be (LOL) although I gave myself permission to buy one sizable thing should I find one I could not live without. I gotta get a job, y’all

finally, I blog about something other than caregiving

When I last left you, dear readers, my head was spinning from mom’s transfers and travels, and I had been admonished to get out of town and try to relax. Wednesday, after we took mom to her apartment, I came home, and aside from the phone call attempting to calm her, I had an excellent afternoon. I cranked my stereo up and CLEANED MY BEDROOM. Seriously, I’ve never enjoyed cleaning so much in my life! That was followed by a long, uninterrupted hot bath, and supper, prepared ho

transitions

Operation Place K is moving along. I had a brief but intense freak-out on Monday when I called mom’s doctors to make sure they were sending the needed paperwork K had requested, only to discover one is out of town this week. After a small panic, I realized it was not, after all, the end of the world, and the move could wait till his return. So I breathed deep, talked with his nurse and the contact person at K, and shuffled family members (willing, thank heavens). As it turned

"shall I ever look down..."

Okay, I did it. After my last blog post, I called and set up an appointment for a nurse from Place K to come and evaluate mom for memory care placement. It’s just gotten to be bigger than I can handle. She needs more professional care, people trained to know exactly how to help her, plus, she’s bored! Yesterday she asked ‘wonder what Peggy does all day?’ Really, under normal circumstances, she would know her sister works part time, takes care of her new great-grandbaby a lot

what color is Friday?

Place K was as nice as I remember it being; very clean and neat, with pleasant staff who interact well with the residents. The lobby’s been fixed up since I left, and other areas are slated for upgrade soon, according to the lady who showed me around, but it’s not run down by any stretch. The lobby was just really—businessey, I guess you would say, with flat chairs and glass wall through which you could see administrative and secretarial offices. Now it looks much more homey,

pulling up big girl panties

Not much to report this go-round. Group home visit cancelled; mom’s sitter was sick again, poor thing. So it’s been another week with minimal breaks. Uncle David came by so I could run to the grocery early in the week; bless him, 45 minutes with mom has him tearing out what’s left of his hair. Aunt Peggy came by later in the week so I could make another quick dash. She and mom often end up at odds, but this time it was pretty calm. Aunt Peggy was pleased they had actually bee

Sitters are go!

I’m very excited and very nervous. On Monday a lovely lady named Tara came from WholeCare to evaluate mom. She spent a good couple of hours getting acquainted, taking her medical history, observing her a bit, and then we began to make some plans. I let her know I’m not overly blessed financially, but I use some of the rent money from my parents’ old house for things for mom, like her insurance and so forth, so I figure this falls into that category. At the moment, mom seems t

a light at the end of the tunnel, or an oncoming train?

So. Christmas was… better than I hoped, not especially good, but not as bad as it could have been. How’s that for damning with faint praise? I put up my last blog post last Friday. Saturday, mom had a rough evening. At one point, she started yelling how she hated this house and wished I had never brought her here. I asked where she wanted to be and she said ‘anywhere you aren’t.’. Now granted, she had no idea who I was, so it didn’t really hurt me, but it did annoy me. I alm

Claudio Sanchez and the Switch Witches

I’m rather disappointed in myself. Mom had an excellent part-of-the-day yesterday. She woke me bringing me a drink of water, took herself to the bathroom, and admitted to raiding the cookies during the night. We had a pretty rational conversation or two; she confessed she could not remember where daddy’s grave was, and made me promise to take her to it one day this week when the rain moves out and she feels up to it. She also scolded me for not having a will made yet, and wan

tea time, and other ramblings

Mom was being rather introspective earlier today. Still confused as heck, but introspective. She was asking questions like "Do I do anything all day or just sleep?" and "Why do you do all this?" Of course, she was also asking who pays me, doesn't putting plaster all over you clog up your pores, and where do the other girls go. I try to be as serious as I can in answering her, but if something is funny, heck, I'm going to laugh. Sometimes she does too. Not as often as she used

Jesus is the best shopper

Me again! Here's a quick follow up to yesterday's post, which I thought y'all would appreciate. Last night and today I've been browsing ebay for some type of religious medal. I kind of thought I'd like something I could wear all the time under my shirt just as a reminder. But I didn't want to use something nice I already had, like the pewter Holy Spirit dove I bought in New Orleans, because if mom freaked out and it got broken or lost it would hurt me, and I'm sick of hurting

looking for the light

This post may be a bit ragged, as I am feeling that way today. Mom had a rough night most of last night, arguing about her pills, which ones she takes when, and whether she had taken them. She did that thing again where literally as the pill is going down her throat, she denies she took it. It’s hard to conceive of how her memory can so totally cease to function. She finally went to bed in a huff, turning her back to me. I sat down on the opposite side, setting the alarm on m