• Lisa

time marches on

Mom had a horrible night last night. She read her pill schedule over and over for 2 hours and kept asking the same questions. I can usually maintain; sometimes she goes on twice that long and I just say “yes mom, no mom, let me read this with you again mom”. But I was tired and a bit stressed over various things… I kind of lost it and yelled at her. :(

I left her room to regain myself and do some stuff. Usually that does the trick; she fumes and gripes for a while, and when I go back in her room when a bright smile, she may not remember the problem or even who I am. (See, there’s me utilizing her issues to my advantage again. What a manipulator I am. Ha)

This time though, it all went south with a quickness. The next thing I knew she was on the phone yelling to her sister about the b***h here in this house with her, and trying to get out the door to hitchhike home.

I don't know if my raising my voice to her was the cause, but as I started writing this blog post, she is on the pill thing again right now, and I will cut off my tongue before I raise my voice to her again. If I have to say ten thousand times, Yes mom, your pills are fine; Yes mom, 3 o clock in the afternoon comes before 9 o clock at night, I will do it and grit my teeth. Be the duck, dummy.

My aunt called their brother who lives right around the corner, and he and his wife came over. It was nice, I confess, having not one but two rational adults in the house to talk to for a few minutes, and somebody to watch mom long enough for me to feed the cats and get the mail and go to the bathroom. I don’t normally have to worry about doing those things, other than mom maybe grumbling that I haven’t been in to check on her in an hour (which is more like 5 or 10 minutes. Nope, no sense of time whatsoever) Last night was a whole ‘nother level of crazy though!

After 45 minutes, they got pretty frustrated with her swearing and swinging at me and insisting I was not her child and begging them to take her ‘home’, and they left. It seems right now like everybody either wants me to have her committed, or thinks she may be faking it (since I am literally the only person she does not seem to know).

One other thing, and this may seem crazy, but mom's memory is so spotty, it's as reasonable a theory as any: I glanced at the clock last night while trying to wrestle her back in the house. 6 pm. No big deal. Except this morning while packing a package to send to a friend, I thought of a conversation she and I had a couple of weeks ago. She said she often doesn’t consciously recall the exact date of her mother’s passing, but she invariably will have an off or odd day on that day, and not realize the connection till after the fact. I said I do the same with daddy. Suddenly I had a thought and checked the calendar…

You see where this is going, I bet. Mom’s outburst, the worst she has had since this journey with dementia began, happened quite literally six years TO THE MINUTE after daddy passed.

I haven’t mentioned it to mom today. She was, however, pretty lucid this morning, and talked about when I was born, how happy she was to have a little girl she could do things with, and how sad she is that I have to take care of her now. Of course, just now she is asking about the other girl who slept with her last night, and won’t accept that it was me. (She also remembers her brother and sister-in-law coming over last night, and even that her sister called them and sent them over; but she thinks another girl was here, not me. Go figure.)

In other news, my Claudio Sanchez swap partner liked her box, though the weird old doll I found in the garage creeped her out. She’s declaring it a family heirloom and giving it to her sister. LOL. For my part, I got a box full of goodies including some gorgeous sock yarn, a cat wallet that meows, Canadian Tire money, a Christmas sock monkey, and believe it or not, not one but two teeny rubber ducks. It’s a sign, I tell ya.

My Switch Witchee loved her goodies, and I got a bunch of lovely things from my Witch. Coffee, tea, taffy, candles, bath goods, and more gorgeous sock yarn. I was commissioned to make some fudge for a friend’s Witchee, which was loved. Sadly, that friend’s Witch stiffed her; so a box with fudge and assorted small gifts is on its way. I can’t help myself, hehe.

#dementia #yarn #caregiver

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