Drive-by to update. Things are going as well as can be expected. I ran around like a nut the rest of the week after mom passed, and on into last week, cleaning her room out, hanging with her care staff. I took them donuts and a card, and let them know how much the family appreciated their love and care for mom. They even wanted to see the photos I took at the funeral home, and those seemed to ease their hearts to see her peaceful and resting (with Spooky—they all knew how much he meant to her)
The latter part of last week, I kind of crashed and burned. I guess I really was running on adrenalin, like people said, even though I insisted otherwise, and honest to goodness, I did not feel it. But last Wednesday after cleaning out mom’s stuff at McKendree, I started having pain in my lower left abdomen. It felt like a pulled muscle, but I knew exactly what it was—it was my colon deciding to act a fool. I have a touch of diverticulosis, I’m told, and when I’m under stress it sometimes flairs up. By Thursday I had a low grade fever and just felt generally miserable. Spent most of the day piled up on the couch. Thank heavens I had gotten all the essential errands and phone calls made, things like checking on her grave, putting some of her flowers to dry, calling her insurance carriers about closing out her policies and so forth. So I did a lot of drinking water and running to the bathroom, and by Friday my belly felt better.
Of course, then I caught the mother of all colds. You may recall I did this in this time period last year, though. Lots of hot toddies helped with it then, and the same now. LOL. Difference is, this time around I can go get cough syrup and decongestant and Aleve. Problem is, the weather sucked all weekend and I did not feel like getting dressed and going out! Ergo, hot toddies, herb tea, and more drinking and peeing. It’s clearing up today, and as soon as I get this update posted I’m heading out for groceries and medicine and possibly carry out pizza for lunch.
When I griped about feeling crappy, a friend online said after her mom passed a couple of years ago, the hospice social worker told her to be prepared to catch every dang bug that came along for the next six months or so. Hopefully this will NOT be the case, as I hope to do some living in those six months! I have sneak preview tickets to see Captain Marvel this Thursday evening (the night before its general release, YAY ME), and the Atlanta pen show is in just a few weeks. Since I don’t have to scratch that niggling itch of concern about phone calls in need at the worst moments, I’m considering another mini-vacay to the Smokies later in the spring, and a return to Dragon Con in August. Who knows what else? And of course, I have got to find a real job, whether something from home or out.
In other news: I was invited to join the post-caregiver branch of the caregivers' group I belong to online. I don't know that I have a lot of knowledge to impart, but will do my best. I've been trying to do likewise in other places where I post, like the r/dementia group on reddit. I'm still writing; besides my epic fanfic series (currently wading through part 6 of the projected 9) I'm working on transcribing the first draft of Blood of the Fire-Born (slowly and laboriously. Past Me, why was your handwriting so awful? Oh, that’s right, because Present Me is no better.) and having new ideas hop into my brain from all directions. I watched (semi-watched, while doing other stuff) a show the other night with ghost hunters in a Vegas strip club, and ended up dashing off notes for a story about a dissolute young heir accused of murdering his mentor, and a gal working her way through law school as an exotic dancer who tries to help him. What in the world, brain? Not like I’m arguing! I’m just thankful those cells are kicking up a fuss again. Also making notes on a story about a trauma survivor with multiple personalities, and another about a human baby raised by faeries. Go, creative brain cells!
Another online friend paid me to make her several dolls of her favorite Marvel characters, and I think they turned out quite well. So does she!
Hawkeye (complete with bow, quiver for arrows, and tiny purple hearing aids! In the comics, he is partially deaf; they didn’t carry that over to the movies, more’s the pity), calm badass Agent Coulson and his GREAT BIG GUN, and of course Iron Man. I’m continuing work on my big snuggly hoodie sweater, which will probably be done in time for it to be too warm out to wear it until next fall. Oh well. And trying to cross-stitch, usually when my brain is working out some story plot point.
AND a knitting friend sent me some of her sourdough bread starter! I named him Antonio, and we are about to embark on making bread later today! I tried sourdough biscuits last week, and they weren’t bad, but I want to do the whole, mix up a sponge, let the dough rise 2 or 3 times, routine, and see what happens. Stay tuned! (I should have taken a pic of him last night shortly after he was fed, when he was all fizzy and bubbly.)
Yes, I am staying busy. It’s weird how things pop up and make me think of mom, and then I remember she isn’t here. As I said last post, though, it’s the final step in ‘not here’. For a good while, she was here, bodily present in my house, but her mind, most of what made her her to me, was not here. Then when we finally got through that whole mess of moving her out, she was not here physically, but I knew she was still present on this earth. Now she is gone altogether, and while I admit I know she is better, I do miss her still, in a different way than I have been, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
(cough cough) Okay, got to go get something to kill this cold. Be well, have a good Monday, and we will talk soon! I may review Captain Marvel next blog, if anybody is interested, and share bread pix if the experiments aren’t totally embarrassing.