I’m very excited and very nervous. On Monday a lovely lady named Tara came from WholeCare to evaluate mom. She spent a good couple of hours getting acquainted, taking her medical history, observing her a bit, and then we began to make some plans. I let her know I’m not overly blessed financially, but I use some of the rent money from my parents’ old house for things for mom, like her insurance and so forth, so I figure this falls into that category.
At the moment, mom seems to understand and accept. On occasion the past couple of weeks, when her mind has been more functional, she has said how sad she is that I have to do everything and take care of her all the time. When she said that last weekend, I seized the opportunity to explain that I had scheduled somebody to come talk to me about getting some help, and she was pleased. Of course, the next day, she wasn’t quite so lucid; but then, I just reminded her how unhappy she was with the sitters we had before (um, me, LOL) so I got a referral for some other folks who will hopefully be better and more trustworthy.
Right now we’re going for 4 hours a week for the first few weeks. The first visit is tomorrow. As soon as Tara left I hopped on the phone and started making appointments. So I can now get the bone density scan my doctor recommended last fall, and get my tires rotated, as well as running several other small errands, and maybe even sitting down at a table and eating lunch! What? No!
The future looks brighter now. I can get my teeth checked, my hair cut, maybe meet a friend for lunch. Tara even had information on an elder law expert she uses and thinks highly of, someone who can help me get my will made properly to protect the assets, what few there are, for mom’s care should something happen to me before her. I can get that done too. Yay!
Just getting out of the house is going to help me too. I love mom, and I adore my house, but being confined with them is making me crazy. I’ve actually entertained dark thoughts about selling the house once mom is gone or moves out, and getting a little condo. I can’t imagine that though, I do love the place so much. It has such character, and people just ooh and aah when they come in. it’s old. And like mom says, it’s different.
I was even able to ask for and get somebody to come stay with mom the Saturday of the RV show! Imagine that, I can go spend an hour or two just wandering around the convention center looking at campers.
That reminds me, last night, I was wearing my favorite pajamas, with little campers all over them. Mom noticed them, and as she was in a particularly clear frame of mind, remembered what I've said before about wanting to RV. She said she hoped one of these days after she is gone, I could get a little camper and take trips.
Then after a moment, she said, “But I’d want you to get a gun.” LOL! Bless her. (although seriously, I did date a boy in college who was a Civil War reenactor and a bit of a gun fancier. I went shooting with him a couple of times, and though I felt like the things would set me on my butt the first time I held one, he said if I had started younger, he thought I would have been an excellent shot. So, maybe? I dunno though, I’d be more likely to shoot myself in the foot, I suspect.)
Mom’s shoulder is gradually improving. She takes half a pain pill at a time and that seems to help. You might reasonably be concerned that pain pills would make her fuzzier, but they really don’t seem to. When she is not in pain, she is definitely more mentally clear. The exchange about the campers was a couple of hours after she had taken pain med, and she was a little unnerved to report that she really wasn’t hurting. She does not like that sling, but when she refuses to put it on while she is up, she ends up complaining about her arm hurting more. Of course, her executive function is half shot, so making that cause and effect connection is tenuous at best, and listening to me, well, that ain’t happening most of the time!
Anyway, I’m excited, as I said, but I’m also nervous. I hope she doesn’t go off on one of her hours-long tangents. This morning she was back on her pill kick, reading her schedule over and over and OVER, and fiddling with her planner box. She kept asking why she hadn’t taken the 9 PM pills yet (uh, because it’s 10 o’clock in the morning), when she took the 9 AM pills (yeah, that would be 9 AM), why there are two 9 o’clocks in the same day (ask God honey, that question is above my pay scale) when is morning and when is night (see above)
Tara also said if she got aggressive, they would not care for her any more. I’m hoping the swats and smacks and cussing are reserved for me. I think so, since as I think I’ve said before, when she is especially nice and polite to me, it’s a good bet, which I have confirmed by asking her on occasion, that she has no idea who I am. Here’s hoping she stays on her best behavior!